Soon i have to give up to make mod

Once the reason why I have to be soon stop it's because one I don't understand tutorial and I mean that like any tutorial the second is that I have also problems to follow any directions off tutorials even the procedure I still don't understand it completely even if I try myself hardest the bestest what I can do who left Minecraft taking over with the mods on more than on 1.12 then I cannot make any more mods is this going more harder than ever for me because I have no clue where I can start and if I looking after tutorials even though that's the art like basic those that or else are not basic find me because one it's too blurry 2 it's hard to read and 3 it's hard to follow it I need something like the basically and step-by-step talk by talk and do I do so can I understand any tutorials that is how I see for basic but with cogen syndrome can I not be quite well it doesn't matter that the moderator doesn't understand me I can try every single video of the tutorials but I still don't understand it so I think that's in 2020 or other year I need to stop with an CCleaner the reason is that I can not follow anymore and there is no other options that I can do in my life than only gaming and I know that it's not how it works in life but the moderator doesn't understand me no one understands me and try to follow all some discord on the servers and still I don't understand them because they're only want what they like to do and the way that are speaking about explanation it's still hard for me so it's not easy anymore so answer that means it not be going to easy for the people around you to understand me in my questions because mod modelling procedure and constructions it's just so hard the only thing that I can make ores and tools but other parts of those things for other people do on this website I don't know if I can make that because I don't know how to do it and I are simple tutorials simple things to say you simple things to do simple explanation but those videos those people that doesn't explain for me quite well it's just so hard it doesn't matter that you trying to explain the way that you said it but it's not basic for me if I my eyes is can I not see it basic if I really want to have basic this is my steps that I want

* step by step guide 

* explain more than ever in guide 

* doing by doing 

* clear seeming my eyes 

But if this does not understand me for you then how the heck can I learn some new stuff where people go and I have to stay