I really have hard to develop

Why really I have hard to develop is because I have hard to follow any tutorials as I am handicap with ocular motor apraxia syndrome it effects of my eyes focus however you guys don't understand me so what can do I really have lot of ideas sadly it hard to do or explain by my handicap call ocular motor apraxia syndrome so I don't know what to do as I can only come this far with my mods it still hard of seeing of focus and timing by focusing even can not understand by focusing object